Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Where is my Motivation?

Let me tell you how it's been.

Well, basically, it hasn't.

I don't know exactly what triggered my derailing (I'm fighting the urge to add "this time"), but I think it was a culmination of factors that brought me here.

My baby girl started kindergarten on September 4th, and while I don't blame that explicitly for my lack of motivation, I do know that it has been a stressor.  Watching your child grow up and venture into the world is beautiful and--for me, anyway-- incredibly emotional and stressful.

The first day of school was overwhelming for Phoenix and I both.  I even burst into tears at the grocery store!  When the cashier asked if I was alright, I blubbered "MY-BABY-STARTED-KINDERGARTEN" by way of explanation.

Since then, I haven't necessarily been off-track... but I certainly haven't been on-track, either.  I haven't been eating terribly, but I haven't made myself proud by any means.  I've scarcely been tracking at all.  Water consumption has been passable (around 48 ounces per day), but I've noticed more headaches as my water levels have dropped off.  Exercise?  None.

I have so many excuses... I've been sick, I've been sore, I've been crampy... so many ways to justify my laziness to myself.

I've gained some weight back, but I'm not stressing over it.  I want to get back on track, but more importantly, I want to examine why I get off track in the first place and brainstorm ways to prevent getting lost again.

Something tells me I'll feel a whole lot better once I get in a good work out.  Enough thinking... now it's time to JUST DO IT.

★ jenna