I have mixed feelings about resolutions. I’ve never had good luck with them—the ambition sputters and is gone within a few weeks, and I’m left feeling worse than before… (a) because I still have the “problem behavior,” and (b) because I failed at another resolution.
Most resolutions focus on improving one’s life in some way. Every year that I
can remember making resolutions, the list reads exactly the same: eat well,
drink more water, find ways to better manage stress, be good to myself, etc.
I’m trying to get myself away from my usual thinking that I have to wait for a
specified date to fly or fall. This sucks me into the all-or-nothing pattern
that I am so prone to.
Instead, I’m trying to picture my “resolutions” as an ongoing journey. The goal
of overall wellness never fades—the empty promises I make to myself do. Since I
started this blog in August, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but I’ve made a
lot of progress, too. I don’t want to undermine how far I’ve come… I want to
celebrate my success and keep the momentum going!
So call it what you will, one “resolution” that I’ve had for some time now is
to begin writing in this blog on a regular basis. I’ve always found journaling
to be very therapeutic, and I realize now how much I’d come to rely on this
little piece of cyber space to keep me grounded, focused, disciplined, and motivated.
Because I am so hard on myself (and then use my “failure” as an excuse to quit
altogether), I need to celebrate my little victories. Likewise, I need to
process when I mess up so that I can move on.
As 2013 rolls in, I find myself in an exciting place. I am nearly to the 20
pounds lost mark, which is farther than I have ever made it in a weight loss
venture before! I’m also so close to being able to say “I lost 10% of my body
weight!” that I can almost taste it. These looming milestones are propelling me
I also have concerns to face, mostly stemming from the health crisis I had in
October (long story—that deserves its own entry). I may be looking at surgery,
ongoing medications, and other therapies to fully recover and to prevent
relapse. Diamox, the major medication that I’m on in relation to this
condition, suppresses my appetite… which certainly helps with weight loss, but
leaves me worried about my nutrient intake.
Following the health scare, which left me bedridden for a week and my body in
shock for weeks as it attempted to heal itself, I have gotten sorely out of the
work out groove. I can truly say I miss it—especially the burn afterwards, when
the tenderness in your body reminds you that you’ve worked hard. I was lucky
enough to receive an iPod Nano for Christmas this year, and I’m looking forward
to loading it with good tunes and getting moving again. I can’t wait for warmer
weather to arrive again, so that I can resume my outdoor walk/runs. Those
twilight hours were magical.
Okay, 2013… ready or not, here I come!